Aaaarghh. Flashback to Gandalf's pseudo-demise!!
Balrog: "Watch me WHIP!"
Um. *side eye* Sam's knot tying skills.
Gollum got that crazy drugged out meth head strength. Has to be that, he has NO muscles.
Also, he's a crazy drama queen.
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| "It burns us!!" |
HAHA! Poor Gimli. With legs half as short, he probably feels like he's running twice as far.
Major props to the set makers and model makers in these films. Great, great work!
I need to talk to a goblin biologist. How is it exactly that Uruk-hai are incubated and grown in the mud? This is a process that must be studied.
Theodred's deathbed scene is made extra sexy by blonde Karl Urban, er, Eomer.
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| Serving Horse-Lord realness! |
Grima Wormtongue is the ultimate creeper. Ewww. Gross.
Fear not, Merry and Pippin! The Rohirrim are here to save the day! Maybe...
Once again, Gimli's smart-ass mouth almost gets him killed.
Gimli probably wanted to kiss Eomer for giving them horses. His ass was NOT wanting to run anymore.
I cannot even imagine the stench of a pile of burning Uruk-hai carcasses. UGH.
Fun fact: Viggo Mortensen actually broke his toe when he kicked that helmet. His scream of pain is 100% real in that shot.
How is it possible that the Ents have never heard of Hobbits?
Also, why has Gandalf just been hanging around in a forest? #thingsiwillneverunderstand
OMG. Really, Gollum? Again with the drama? Ugh. I agree with Sam. Just kill the little bastard.
Ewww. Dead bodies in the marsh is one of the creepiest visuals.
The Return of the Nazgul: Flying Abomination Edition.
Gandalf the White! Comes back at the turn of the tide. Yes!
Shadowfax, the Lord of all horses, and a Mearas. Gandalf is basically riding in the horse equivalent of a Bentley. Straight up ballin'.
Sauron needs a decorator. Black gate are SO second age of Middle Earth!
Merry and Pippin drink the magic water. This is a good time for a bathroom break! BRB.
I have returned just in time for Eowyn to start ogling the foxy Aragorn.
Heartbreaking to be Theoden and to come out of being spellbound to discover your son died while you were being magicked!
This scene between Gandalf and Theoden at the tomb guts me every time. Ugh. So sad.
Aragorn cleans up damn well. Rawr.
Eowyn is already falling for Aragorn the Horse Whisperer. I don't blame her...
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| *sploosh* |
Gollum's conversations with himself are kind of blah, IMO. Could skip or take bathroom break during those.
Note to self: The way to a Hobbit's heart is through giving him a pair of dead rabbits.
Faramir the Smexy makes his first appearance!! Ahhh! I love him! He's my favorite, although in the films he's arguably not as badass as he is in the books.
We now pause to switch discs....stay tuned.
We're back and on the trail with smitten Eowyn and Aragorn the Old. Aragron is the best looking 87 year old in the history of ever. Ha!
Arwen and Aragorn sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.... Back off, Eowyn! He's spoken for...technically. :-)
Another glimpse of Elrond in overbearing-dad mode...aaaanddd Aragorn has to go and break Arwen's heart.
WARG ATTACK!!!! Ahhh! Run!
Aragorn goes cliff diving. Hearts broke across the globe! *tweenage girls scream* Noooooo!
Helms Deep fortress HAS to have a flaw. I mean, come on! Plot device!
Elrond has to be all doom and gloom with Arwen. Ugh. Such a dad.
I want Arwen's cloak from this scene. I would wear it everywhere, even in the summer. LOVE it!
Faramir is such a better man than Boromir. Tortured, moody, but better.
I love this extended scene with Boromir and Faramir together though. There was definitely love between them. It sheds a lot of light on both characters. Should have been in the theatrical release.
Denethor is probably the biggest dick in this whole trilogy, including Sauron. Haaate him!
The Forbidden Pool sounds like a terrible porn film name but obviously has good selection of fish. HA!
Look for the sequel The Forbidden Pool: Smeagol Betrayed.
We're almost at my favorite part!!!!
Suit up. Shit is about to get real in Helm's Deep.
Theoden hatin' on Aragorn's plea for help from Gondor and the elves. Big mistake!
Merry and Pippin still chillin' with the Ents. Almost forgot about them since the filmmakers ind of left them hanging there for a while.
Eowyn wants glory. Understandable. I get it.
Let me sum up this next scene:
Legolas: We're all going to die! Blah, blah, blah.
Aragorn: Boy, stop playing. We all gotta die sometime. Suck it up.
-fin-
Theoden's little speech here is one of my favorite. "How did it come to this?"
Merry and Pippin are about to learn the first rule of Ent Club: You only talk about Ent Club veeeeeerrrrrrryyyy ssssllllloooooowwwwlllyyyy.
Legolas with the mea culpa. Smart elf. Just in time for the arrival of the elves!
The Battle of Helms Deep is about to begin.
Interesting how its pouring down rain everywhere except over the principal cast members.
BOOOOOM goes Helms Deep!
Legolas displays his incredibly useful physics-defying fighting skills. Riding the shield down the stone stairs while firing arrows at bad guys. Talk about badass! Woot!
10/10 to Aragorn for Dwarf tossing!
Oooooh! The Ent is angry. You won't like the Ent when he's angry!
Faramir learns the ugly truth. His brother Boromir was corrupted by the ring. Sad.
FINALLY!!! Theoden grew some balls! Sound the horn Gimli!
Here come the Rohirrim, led by Eomer the Sexy.
WE ARE THE ENTS AND WE'RE HERE TO FUCK YOUR SHIT UP, SARUMAN!
Frodo is having a meltdown. Sam is about to make a speech about fate or hope or something like that...
Faramir finally wised up and agrees to let the Hobbits go. Good choice See, I told you he was a better man than Boromir.
Merry and Pippin are about to go hard on those two barrels of longbottom leaf.
Frodo and Sam are about to get the eff out of Osgiliath. Go!
"The battle for Helms Deep is over. The battle for Middle Earth is about to begin."
Almost time to move on to the final film, but not before Frodo professes his undying love for Sam and another pointless bit of Gollum arguing with himself. :-)
I'll return after a brief intermission! Stay tuned!
